Fear Kendall's POV
by Storylover158
Summary: Logan loves Kendall and Kendall loves Logan, but they are both to scared to do anything about it. What happens when Logans fear gets the better of him? What does he do to cope?
1. Discoveries

**AN/ So I'm writing this story in Kendall's POV and my co-author Leviosa0812 is writing it in Logan's POV so we'll see how this goes remember read the story in Logan's POV it has the same story plot but It's pretty different so read it.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, I get nothing**

**Kendall POV**

I hated this, no I detested this why couldn't we just skip the dancing? I don't understand why people enjoy watching us struggle on the dance moves while we were singing our heads off. It was tiring and useless. Thank god we didn't have to learn anything for Stuck. I loved that song so much. It allowed me to not dance for a while.

There was another reason why I liked that song so much. It represented exactly how I feel about Logan. I was stuck. I had no idea how I was ever going to tell him I loved him. He scared us so much. He would never admit how depressed he was. He wouldn't even tell us and we're his friends! Why couldn't he just tell us what was up with him? What was bothering him so much? Nothing seemed to have changed, apart from his well-being.

And our friendship. Especially mine and Logan's. He'd been slowly drifting away from me. It had been happening for a few months and the more time I wanted to spend with him, the more he pushed me away. At first he would flinch when I hugged him after a concert, a knee against his became too much. He couldn't sit next to me anymore, he avoided everything we'd to do together. The only time I saw him now, was during dinner or rehearsal. It hurt me so much.

It hurt me that he wouldn't let me touch him anymore. It hurt not being able to talk to him, no longer making him smile. It hurt not seeing him around. It hurt not having him in my presence at all. It hurt not having him as my friend anymore. He became a stranger.

All of this would've hurt less if he'd been happy. But that wasn't the case. He was depressed. We saw him falling down further and further. I saw him closing himself from us. I saw him losing all the color in his face. I saw him losing weight, he grew skinnier and skinnier every day. I saw him hurting so truly, madly, deeply we could practically feel it.

I could feel it. I loved him so much, always had. He means the world to me. My love for him made me stand up every day. Made me eat and made me talk. It made me live, it kept me going. For him.

And all I wanted for him was just to live. To be happy, even if that meant I would never confess my love to him.

My love for him went so deep. It burned me on the inside like a wildfire. It came up slowly, tickling my inside. It grew stronger. The flames grew bigger and the smoke got thicker, filling me with unconditionally, impossibly true feelings. Then I was burning. The flames got too much, the smoke became too thick and I felt myself falling for him hard. I loved him with every part of my body. My feet would walk to him where ever it is he was. My legs would run to him if he needed me. My chest would comfort him when he needed soothing. My arms would hug him tightly, making sure I would never lose him. My hands would hold his, would touch him whenever they could. My lips would kiss him passionately, but softly. Needing, but gently. Harshly, but sweet. Lovingly in all the right ways. My eyes would lock his, looking at him forever. I was completely obsessed, sinfully, unchangeable, longingly in love with Logan.

Now the four of us were standing in the recording booth. Carlos and James playing with their microphones like it were swords and fighting each other. I pretended to watch their match, but I was really focusing on Logan, like always. He was leaning against the wall and seemed lost in thought. He lost all the color on his face weeks ago and the bones you could see through his shirt were normal already. It was sickening. I had no idea how he managed to hold himself up. It was weird though, he was always eating everything my mom made so I didn't know how he could lose so much weight.

"DOGS! BREAK'S OVER! Oh Yeah, and it better be good or else we'll be staying here a lot longer!"

James, Carlos and I groaned while Logan just pushed away from the wall and walked to his microphone. We went through the song and then again and again. It was awful, but it wasn't Logan who sounded bad. Not at all, he sang even better than ever. No, it was me who was terrible. I managed to fuck up every line I sang and there weren't even that much I had to sing in this track.

"Kendall! You're terrible! My ears are hurting! I want you out of the booth so I can record the people who CAN ACTUALLY SING!" Yelled Gustavo. He was pissed off and for once I could totally understand it. I sucked.

I hung my earphones over the microphone stand and left the booth to sit down next to Kelly and watch my friends sing without me.

I paid special attention to Logan when he sang. It seemed like how skinnier he became, how higher his voice could reach and now he sounded almost eerie. His cheeks were hollow and you could see his skin hugging his skull tightly. The big brown eyes I worshipped seemed to be even bigger, but they were empty. There was no emotion at all. He was so small. From the few muscles he had was nothing left and I swear that his wrists were just as slender as Katie's. And that was saying something.

They finally finished the song and Gustavo let us go to the dance studio. This was always the part were Logan showed emotion. Worry.

We all were worried about Logan during dance practice. Even when he didn't move at all it looked like he was about to break. I didn't want to know what things could go wrong during exercises. It just wasn't were Logan was worried about. I had no clue what it could be if it wasn't that, but he didn't seem to notice at all that he lost 10 pounds, or more. "Get X-ready, boys! We're going to X-dance Till I forget about you!" Said Mr. X. He clapped his hands. He was so gay. I thought I was bad, but he was so much worse than I was. As we sang Logan got more worried and panicky when we reached his flip he almost had to be thrown into the air when he landed on the ground, I blinked a few times to make sure what I was seeing was correct.

There was something on his legs and it was leaking? "Logan, what's that on your leg?"


	2. Triangle

**Ok people this is the second chapter we rewrote it because we weren't happy with how it first came out tell us if it was too much too soon ok?**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! I get nothing! **

I saw Carlos run out of the room in the corner of my eye, he had his hand over his mouth funny when he's playing hockey blood doesn't affect him but as soon as he is off the ice he can't stand blood. I didn't see Mr. X leave but I knew he was gone probably to go warn Gustavo that Logan was hurt and it wasn't his fault. D-did James just hiss oh well that's not important, what is important is Logan MY Logan is bleeding If someone hurt him I will kill them!

I turned to look at James and he was watching me, I gave him a 'get the hell out of here I'll tell you what happened later' look and then suddenly we were alone.

"Logan is that blood on your leg" "N-nothing, it's nothing" I heard him say, but I didn't listen. I just kept staring at the liquid that left a copper colored trail down his leg. "It's nothing, Kendall. I just hurt myself when I was shaving. Nothing special" God he was so lying. "Shaving Logan really? You cut yourself shaving" he dropped his eyes.

I guess his shoes are more interesting than I am at the moment I fisted my shirt in my hands and waited for an explanation that never came finally I broke. "Why the hell are you bleeding? Are you okay? What happened?" Why the hell won't he look at me? I love him so much and he won't he even tell me if he's hurt.

He started to move backwards until he backed up into a wall. I saw him look at me than at the door, oh God I hope he doesn't make a run for it. Even if he does I know James won't forget about this maybe Carlos will. "C'mon logie we're your friends, I'm your best friend please just tell me please. What's been going on with you lately?"

Why won't he tell me? Did I do something wrong? It hurts to not be able to be close to my love. "I promise to not judge you as long as you tell me what's going on. He almost made eye contact with me but instead he looked at the door. He wouldn't make a run for it would he? I make my way to the door in order to block it. As I make it half way there Logan glances back to me realizing what I was going to do he heads for the door. I run for it making it there a half second before he does effectively stopping his escape. "That's it Logan you are going to tell me what's going on right now!"

Logan and I were so close I could smell the shampoo he used this morning something with strawberries and peaches. As soon as he realized how close we were like all the other times he backed away. I've had enough of this crap, why would he back away? Unless I did something wrong. He finally met my eyes as I looked at him. Fear he was afraid...of me. He was afraid of me, I'm scaring the man I love. Oh God what have I done? I walk up to him slower than I thought possible but I made sure to block the door. I can't let him leave without finding what's wrong with him. When I reached him I ended up trapping him in the corner. I made sure to keep staring in his eyes.

I grabbed his chin in my hand and gently brought his lips up to meet mine in a kiss, words couldn't describe the joy I felt when he started to kiss back. I have to say that that was the best kiss of my life, kissing Logan is now my favorite thing to do. "Why the hell are you kissing, Logan? I thought you were going to find out why his legs are bleeding! Kendall we really need to talk here, you know- Never mind. Logan, what happened to you? This isn't normal, you know" He waved to my legs. "I cut myself when I was shaving" I heard Logan say with a touch of embarrassment in his voice

"You don't even shave there. Tell me what's going on" He demanded, looking at Logan then to me before staring at Logan again. "James Logan's fine we'll be out in a few minutes." I just hope by then I'll have found out what's wrong with MY logie. "No you'll just go back to kissing him again. Kendall come here." I look back at Logan as James pulled me away from him. "What the hell are you doing? You know I've had a crush on him for ages!" Yea, well I've been in love with him since 4th grade

"You are?" James ran his hand through his hair. "Amazing, that's just wonderful. You know what's wrong with him already? Because I've got a pretty good idea" "Yea I think he's been cutting what you think?" "Same. I swear his wrists are just as thin as Katie's, he's really scaring the crap out of me. Do you know why he does it?"

"If I knew do you think he'd still be cutting?" You never know. Maybe you forced him to or something, because he doesn't love you back?" He said sarcastically "Then why did he kiss back huh?" "He's just scared! You saw him when I left the room! He was like a little bunny seeing a huge lion! If I was the bunny I would do everything to stay alive!"

Oh God what if he's right what if Logan doesn't feel the same way about me. "I have to go right now!" "Oh no you don't!" James gripped his arm. "What are you going to do? Scare him even more? Don't you think it's better if I go back?" "Yea your right make sure he's okay alright?" "Sure, Kendall" I watch as he turned around and walked back to the dance studio

"Hey Kendall, what are you doing sitting there all alone? Why aren't you with James and Logan?" Asked Carlos when he turned around the corner and saw me sitting alone. "I'm waiting for James to get done talking with Logan why?" "I just saw them walking out of the building, I thought you would be with them. I didn't want to go, because, you know, I don't like blood"

"What do you mean walking out of the building where'd they go?"

"Something about clean clothes and eating. What's up with Logan? He's really scaring me with this" "Um don't worry Carlos he's fine did they happen to mention where they were going?" "Home where else could he get clean clothes?" "Uh yea yea stupid me, of course, Hey can you get home okay I gotta go." I didn't hear what his answer was because I was already running down the hall towards the car.


	3. Chapter 3

**Alright I know that this is not a real chapter but I need your readers help right now. This story can go two ways. One Kendall and Logan live happily ever after with a possibillaty of a sequal or Two It turns into a Romeo and Jueliet ending. I like them both but I need your help. So please give your answer in review.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hello Guys and Girls the results are in the last chapter will be… Kogan happily ever after BUT DaniiLuvsBTR requested the R&J ending and since he was a very nice person and reviewed EACH CHAPTER! He gets what he wants SO… the next chapter will be happy ever after then there will be an 'epilouge' of sorts with the R&J ending so… sorry about the notes just letting you know. Bye Bye ttfn.**_


	5. Happy Kogan

**Hello sorry for the wait was working on one of my other stories and I started to read a new story and the author helped me remember that I have Impossible by Shontelle and the song inspired me. Review or don't I don't care anymore. **

Alright they went home Logan got new clothes that's perfectly fine now there at a resturant no big deal. Now just a quick peak to make sure everything's oka- "Well here's the thing um I really really like you" I think my heart stopped. "I like you too" Nope correction it didn't stop it completely utterly shattered. It felt like everything was going in slow motion as Logan logie MY logie confirmed that he didn't love me like I loved him hell he didn't even like me he liked James...James he did this IT'S HIS FAULT IT'S ALL HIS FAULT! "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU FUCKING DOING JAMES?"

"Jeez Kendall! You scared me! What the hell are you doing here?" James snapped back. By now everyone in the resturant was staring at me but I didn't care all I cared about was getting MY Logie away from James. "Get the hell away from him James" I seethed. "I don't think so Kendall. Why don't you?" I'm going to kill him, no think Kendall think outside yes that's a great idea outside there are no witnesses outside. "James" I hiss "Outside now!"

"Stay here okay, Logie? I'll be back soon" Did he just do that did he really just touch Logan's cheek IN FRONT OF ME. Oh he is so dead. As we get outside he starts to talk to me, one sentence is all that James gets. "He likes me back" He said with a smug look on his face. He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, as if he was saying 'what are you gonna do about it?'

In the split second it takes me to think about what I'm going to do my hand is already three inches from his face, nope scratch that he's a couple feet away from me holding what looks to be a broken nose. God that felt good. "I TOLD YOU I LOVED HIM YOU BASTARD!" "So do I! Your too late now! Make your move earlier next time, I'm not letting him go now." Wrong move dumbass "Because you've been my friend for a long time I'm giving you this one warning STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM or so help me god you won't live to regret it." With that I walk back inside to talk to MY logie.

"Oh, no. You're not going back in. I was this close to making him talk and you're just going to ruin it. Get out of my way, Knight, so I can talk to my Logan" What the hell did he just say? "What the hell did you just say?" Wow my voice it sounds so so... emotionless, cold. "I said he's mine. Now, go away so I can help him to get better. It's working, you know. I already made him eat"

Fucking bastard won't give up, fine. I turn around and feel my fist connect with his stomach. While he was on the ground I stride back in to the resturant to see MY Logan. As I get inside the place I make my way over to their table. However before I get two steps in the damn door I smell James and his obnoxcious hair products right behind me. We make our way to the table with people giving us strange looks because of James' obviously broken nose.

"Why did you hit James?" Logan asks. Aww Logan looks so cute all docterish I could just throw him over the table and- NO get your mind out of the gutter. "Simple he was touching you but right now that's not important what is important is why you keep losing weight even when you eat everythin-" My voice stopped working my whole body seemed to shut down as I realised what Logan was doing.

James seemed to realize the same thing, because I saw his hands onLogans' sides, feeling nothing but bones. He tried to slap them away, but It was already too late because I heard him gasp when he felt his broken body. He He He "You You You… Were you? Are you? God I can't even finish the damn sentence!" "Please don't hate me." Oh my god he sounds so weak it made me cringe. "I could never hate you, but why did you do it?" James said as he pulled Logan closer to his chest and the worst thing was that Logan did nothing to stop it in fact he encouraged it. He doesn't love me, he will never love me. My reason for living doesn't love me. I stand up almost as if in a trance I hear Logan gasp and start crying. I hear James comforting him whispering things like it's alright and everything's going to be fine. Turning I mouth the words 'take care of him' knowing that James would. At least Logan will have someone there for him, that's good. As long as Logan is okay then I can rest easy.

Pressing the roof button in the elevator I think of Logan how much I love him, how I hope he won't miss me to much and how better James can make Logan. I reach the end of the roof when I'm brought out of my thoughts, I step out onto the ledge and hear Logan's voice huh even in death I hear my loves voice calling to me. "Kendall! Kendall FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE DON'T JUMP!" He sounds exactly like the real Logan. WAIT that is the real Logan I could never mistake that angelic voice. I turn around and open my eyes as I step down wondering why Logan is here and not with James. "The hell are you doing here Logan weren't you on a date with James?" " First it wasn't a date and I was with him until I figured out what you were going to do!"

Ah, that's my Logie always the smart one. Wait why the hell does he care? He has_ James_ now. "What the fuck does it matter to you your with James now, You made it very clear that YOU DON'T LOVE ME BACK SO PLEASE IF I CAN'T BE WITH YOU AT LEAST LET ME DIE THINKING THAT YOU COULD LOVE ME LIKE I LOVE YOU!" The roof is more silent then it should be as a smile breaks onto Logan's face. It takes exactly six seconds before Logan is across the divide between us and in my arms _where he should be_ kissing me like I could float away at any second and his kisses are keeping on the ground with him. "I love you too" It was so quiet if he wasn't in my arms I wouldn't have heard him but there was a smile on my face that I'm sure beamed brighter than the sun all the same.

I know there are things we should worry about James, Gustavo, Jo and the media to say the least but right now at this moment with Logan kissing me telling me that he loves me every time we break for air and I the same I couldn't care about anything else. Because I know in my heart that I will love him with everything I have till the end of our lives and beyond.

_~Fin~_

**So there it is if you voted for the Kogan happily ever after I want to know if this is to your satisfaction. For those of you who voted/wanted the Romeo&Juliet ending don't fret I'm working on it right now for that it's going to be the same beginning but a different ending. If you liked this and DON'T like character death don't read the next chapter. So… bye **


	6. R&J

**Hey guys I was going to wait about another day but I was inspired. Now This is going to be a little sad but also happy sad I felt that this was a better way to write it so give feedback. Dedicated to Danii who reviewed all my chapters for this story. Hope it lives up to your expectations.**

Alright they went home Logan got new clothes that's perfectly fine now there at a resturant no big deal. Now just a quick peak to make sure everything's oka- "Well here's the thing um I really really like you" I think my heart stopped. "I like you too" Nope correction it didn't stop it completely utterly shattered. It felt like everything was going in slow motion as Logan logie MY logie confirmed that he didn't love me like I loved him hell he didn't even like me he liked James...James he did this IT'S HIS FAULT IT'S ALL HIS FAULT! "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU FUCKING DOING JAMES?"

"Jeez Kendall! You scared me! What the hell are you doing here?" James snapped back. By now everyone in the resturant was staring at me but I didn't care all I cared about was getting MY Logie away from James. "Get the hell away from him James" I seethed. "I don't think so Kendall. Why don't you?" I'm going to kill him, no think Kendall think outside yes that's a great idea outside there are no witnesses outside. "James" I hiss "Outside now!"

"Stay here okay, Logie? I'll be back soon" Did he just do that did he really just touch Logan's cheek IN FRONT OF ME. Oh he is so dead. As we get outside he starts to talk to me, one sentence is all that James gets. "He likes me back" He said with a smug look on his face. He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, as if he was saying 'what are you gonna do about it?'

In the split second it takes me to think about what I'm going to do my hand is already three inches from his face, nope scratch that he's a couple feet away from me holding what looks to be a broken nose. God that felt good. "I TOLD YOU I LOVED HIM YOU BASTARD!" "So do I! Your too late now! Make your move earlier next time, I'm not letting him go now." Wrong move dumbass "Because you've been my friend for a long time I'm giving you this one warning STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM or so help me god you won't live to regret it." With that I walk back inside to talk to MY logie.

"Oh, no. You're not going back in. I was this close to making him talk and you're just going to ruin it. Get out of my way, Knight, so I can talk to my Logan" What the hell did he just say? "What the hell did you just say?" Wow my voice it sounds so so... emotionless, cold. "I said he's mine. Now, go away so I can help him to get better. It's working, you know. I already made him eat"

Fucking bastard won't give up, fine. I turn around and feel my fist connect with his stomach. While he was on the ground I stride back in to the resturant to see MY Logan. As I get inside the place I make my way over to their table. However before I get two steps in the damn door I smell James and his obnoxcious hair products right behind me. We make our way to the table with people giving us strange looks because of James' obviously broken nose.

"Why did you hit James?" Logan asks. Aww Logan looks so cute all docterish I could just throw him over the table and- NO get your mind out of the gutter. "Simple he was touching you but right now that's not important what is important is why you keep losing weight even when you eat everythin-" My voice stopped working my whole body seemed to shut down as I realised what Logan was doing.

James seemed to realize the same thing, because I saw his hands onLogans' sides, feeling nothing but bones. He tried to slap them away, but It was already too late because I heard him gasp when he felt his broken body. He He He "You You You… Were you? Are you? God I can't even finish the damn sentence!" "Please don't hate me." Oh my god he sounds so weak it made me cringe. "I could never hate you, but why did you do it?" James said as he pulled Logan closer to his chest and the worst thing was that Logan did nothing to stop it in fact he encouraged it. He doesn't love me, he will never love me. My reason for living doesn't love me. I stand up almost as if in a trance I hear Logan gasp and start crying. I hear James comforting him whispering things like it's alright and everything's going to be fine. Turning I mouth the words 'take care of him' knowing that James would. At least Logan will have someone there for him, that's good. As long as Logan is okay then I can rest easy.

Pressing the roof button in the elevator I think of Logan how much I love him, how I hope he won't miss me to much and how better James can make Logan. I reach the end of the roof when I'm brought out of my thoughts, I step out onto the ledge and hear Logan's voice huh even in death I hear my loves voice calling to me. "Kendall! Kendall FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE DON'T JUMP!" "bye logie, I love you" and with that I step off the ledge before I hit the ground I feel someone grab my wrist. Oh god I know that wrist, I look up and see Logan holding onto my hand crying. "I love you too" I try to smile but I get distracted by Logan's hand slipping from the ledge under my weight I try to let my hand go, try to wriggle my wrist out of his grasp but he just holds on tighter with a smile on his face. His hand slips off the ledge but he keeps holding onto my wrist effectively pulling him off with me, he grasps at my shirt and as we fall I pull him closer. He wraps his arms around my back he whispers "I love you" I whisper the same hoping he hears me judging by the smile on his face even though we're plummeting to our deaths he heard me. We kiss signifying our love and as we hit the pavement below we are connected in heart and soul for eternity.

**Well there it is sorry Danii even in the end there together I kinda like it better this way what do you think?**


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